There are lots of swinger websites. Is this perversion or just a natural act that makes the marriage better?

Fallacy of the Excluded Middle.

I have some very close friends and they are swingers. We talk openly about their experiences, and they say it actually makes their marriage stronger. I don’t know of anyone else who does this sort of thing though. Personally, I’d have a hard time with it.

IT’S BEGINNING TO BE MORE POPULAR THESE DAYS!! I DON’T THINK IT’S GOOD FOR THE MARRIAGE!!

GOOD LUCK!!

More common among lower class people. It’s not a practice of people with self-worth, morals, etc.

Swinging has been happening forever, it’s just more out in the open today because of the Internet and the number of websites catering to swingers.

Overall, it is estimated that about 1% of the population is active swingers. It is also estimated that about 2 in 10 couples try swinging of some kind, whether it be a threesome (which is technically swinging if you are a committed couple), soft swap with other couples or full swap.

Does it make a marriage better? That all depends on what shape the marriage was in when the couple started swinging. Swinging won’t hurt a good relationship, but it certainly won’t fix a bad one. If a couple has a fantastic relationship with an active and healthy sex life and they start swinging to fulfill sexual fantasies they both have, than it will not only not harm their relationship, it will more than likely improve it even further.

However, if a couple is using swinging to try to fix a relationship that is on the rocks for some reason, it just won’t work. Most of the the couples you hear about breaking-up after trying swinging were doing it for this reason. They foolishly think that having sex with others will fix all the damage they’ve personally created in their relationship over the years. And of course, since swinging was the last thing they tried before they split-up it is what gets blamed for the split, especially by their friends who are looking in from the outside. The truth is though, you can never see inside someone else’s marriage. What appears to be true to you is what the couple wants to to see. And believe me, nobody takes responsibility for their own crap until they run out of everyone and everything else to blame it on. So you hear people say things like “My friends tried swinging and now they are divorced.” or “My ex and I tried swinging and now we are divorced.”

P K S said: “More common among lower class people. It’s not a practice of people with self-worth, morals, etc”

Riiiight. Actually you’ll find people from all walks of life in it and not just the societal trash that PKS suggests. Yes, there is an element of that in there, too. Like I said, ALL walks of life. But that also means you’re going to see doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, police officers, firefighters, bank managers, company execs, business owners, even clergy. You name it. And speaking from direct experience, it most certainly IS a lifestyle practiced by those with morals, ethics, and a keen sense of self-worth.

As for how common it is, I think it’s more common than you might imagine. Due to its underground nature (an unfortunate necessity in today’s straitlaced society), it would be quite impossible to get accurate statistics one way or another. However, studies do exist (see below for a good example) and they indicate some surprising findings. How you define an actual swinger varies from one person to the next. To me, there are swingers who really do make non-monogamous, anti-possessiveness attitudes and beliefs a part of their lives and relationships. Then there are all the “wannabes”. You can search for your home town on adult friend finder and you WILL get at least one hit. Whomever you find may not be active in the lifestyle, but at the very least they are interested in it. So…I guess how common it is depends on your definitions.